The authors propose a comprehensive theory of dark matter to explain recent unexpected observations in high-energy astrophysics. They argue that cosmic ray spectra from ATIC and PAMELA require a WIMP with a mass of 500-800 GeV that annihilates into leptons at a level significantly higher than expected from thermal relic formation. Signals from WMAP and EGRET reinforce this interpretation. Limits on antiprotons and $\pi^0$-$\gamma$ emissions constrain the hadronic channels allowed for dark matter. These observations imply the presence of a new force in the dark sector with a Compton wavelength greater than 1 GeV$^{-1}$. This new force allows for a Sommerfeld enhancement, which boosts the annihilation cross section without altering the weak-scale annihilation cross section during dark matter freeze-out in the early universe. If the dark matter annihilates into the new force carrier $\phi$, its low mass can make hadronic modes kinematically inaccessible, forcing decays predominantly into leptons. If the force carrier is a non-Abelian gauge boson, the dark matter is part of a multiplet of states, and splittings between these states naturally generate the eXciting dark matter (XDM) scenario, which can explain the positron excess observed by INTEGRAL. Smaller splittings would also provide a natural source for the parameters of the inelastic dark matter (iDM) explanation for the DAMA annual modulation signal. The Sommerfeld enhancement is most significant at low velocities, potentially producing observable effects on the ionization history of the universe and increasing the detection of substructure in dwarf galaxies and Milky Way subhalos. The authors discuss the implications of their theory for various experiments, including PAMELA, PLANCK, FERMI/GLAST, and the LHC.The authors propose a comprehensive theory of dark matter to explain recent unexpected observations in high-energy astrophysics. They argue that cosmic ray spectra from ATIC and PAMELA require a WIMP with a mass of 500-800 GeV that annihilates into leptons at a level significantly higher than expected from thermal relic formation. Signals from WMAP and EGRET reinforce this interpretation. Limits on antiprotons and $\pi^0$-$\gamma$ emissions constrain the hadronic channels allowed for dark matter. These observations imply the presence of a new force in the dark sector with a Compton wavelength greater than 1 GeV$^{-1}$. This new force allows for a Sommerfeld enhancement, which boosts the annihilation cross section without altering the weak-scale annihilation cross section during dark matter freeze-out in the early universe. If the dark matter annihilates into the new force carrier $\phi$, its low mass can make hadronic modes kinematically inaccessible, forcing decays predominantly into leptons. If the force carrier is a non-Abelian gauge boson, the dark matter is part of a multiplet of states, and splittings between these states naturally generate the eXciting dark matter (XDM) scenario, which can explain the positron excess observed by INTEGRAL. Smaller splittings would also provide a natural source for the parameters of the inelastic dark matter (iDM) explanation for the DAMA annual modulation signal. The Sommerfeld enhancement is most significant at low velocities, potentially producing observable effects on the ionization history of the universe and increasing the detection of substructure in dwarf galaxies and Milky Way subhalos. The authors discuss the implications of their theory for various experiments, including PAMELA, PLANCK, FERMI/GLAST, and the LHC.